Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize