Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize