i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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