He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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