whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
