I'm going to jail i love you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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