"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
