OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize