You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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