Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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