i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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