1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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