this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
