Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
