shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't deserve a penis
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
