I think my vagina is haunted
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just gargled with NyQuil
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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