so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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