I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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