Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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