She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
