it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
