hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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