Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
