so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
