You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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