Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
