woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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