Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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