He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
