woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
