people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
