Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just threw up on my dentist
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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