I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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