Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You smell like stripper and shame
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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