I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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