Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
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He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
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Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire