I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.