I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame