Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
