We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
