Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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