The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
