I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
