hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
