life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
