so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
