Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize