Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize