Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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