He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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