it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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