hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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