He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
