??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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