He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
