You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
