Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.

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(971): View more from Oregon

Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.

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(138): View more from

You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI

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