He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo