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• (586): View more from Michigan

  On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA

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• (408): View more from California

  You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on

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• (315): View more from New York

  All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.

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