All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
