You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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