It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
