so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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