You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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