This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
