Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize