Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
